Many passengers, despite having paid so little for their cruise, expect to see top-notch entertainment, “headline” marquee-name cabaret artists, the world’s most “popular” singers, and the most dazzling shows with slick special effects, just as one would find in the best venues in Las Vegas, London, or Paris. There are many reasons why it is not exactly so. International star acts invariably have an entourage that accompanies them to any venue: their personal manager, their musical director (often a pianist or conductor), a rhythm section (with bass player and drummer), even their hairdresser.
On land, one-night shows are possible, but with a ship, an artist cannot always disembark after just one night, especially when it involves moving equipment, costumes, and baggage. This makes the whole matter logistically and financially unattractive for all but the very largest ships on fixed itineraries, where a marquee-name act might be a marketing plus.
When you are at home you can bring the world’s top talent into your home via television. Cruise ships are a different matter. Most entertainers don’t like to be away from their “home base” for long periods, as they rely on telephone contact. They don’t like the long contracts that most ships must offer in order to amortize the cost.
A certain sameness
So many acts working aboard cruise ships are interchangeable with so many other acts also working aboard cruise ships. Ever wonder why? Entertainers aboard ship must also live with their audiences for several days (sometimes weeks) - something unheard-of on land - as well as work on stages aboard older ships that weren’t designed for live performances. However, there is no question that cruise ships are the new location for vaudeville acts, where a guaranteed audience is a bonus for many former club-date acts, as well as fresh acts trying to break in to the big time on land.
Many older (pre-1980) ships have extremely limited entertainment spaces (with single-height show lounges really designed for cabaret performances - not large-scale production shows), and few older ships provide proper dressing rooms and backstage facilities for the storage of costumes, props, or effects, not to mention the extensive sound and lighting equipment most live “name” artists demand or need.
Entertainment in today’s large resort ships is market-driven. In other words, it is directed toward that segment of the industry that marketing departments are specifically targeting. This is predominantly a family audience, so the fare must appeal to a broad age range.
A cruise line with several ships in its fleet will normally employ an entertainment director and several assistants, and most cruise lines have contracts with one or more entertainment agencies that specialize in entertainment for cruise ships. Regular passengers will notice that they seem to see the same acts time after time on various ships.
Show biz at sea
In today’s high-tech world, staging a lavish 45 to 50-minute production show involves the concerted efforts of a range of experienced people, and a cost of $500,000 to $1 million a show isn’t unheard-of. Weekly running costs (performers’ salaries, costume cleaning and repair, royalties, replacement audio and videotapes, and so on) all add up to an expensive package for what can be a largely unappreciative and critical audience.
Other entertainment
Most cruise ships organize acts that, while perhaps not nationally recognized “names,” can provide two or three different shows during a seven-day cruise. These will be male/female singers, illusionists, puppeteers, hypnotists, and even circus acts, with wide age-range appeal.
There are comedians and comedy duos who perform “clean” material and who may find employment year-round on the “cruise ship circuit.” These popular comics enjoy good accommodation, are stars while on board, and often go from ship to ship on a standard rotation every few days. There are raunchy, late-night “adults only” comedy acts in some of the ships with younger, “hip” audiences, but few have enough material for several shows. The larger a ship, the broader the entertainment program is likely to be.
Playing the game
TV game shows could be the next audience participation event aboard the big resort ships with their large showlounges. Disney Cruise Line has “Who Wants to be a Mouseketeer?” These professionally produced game shows, licensed from TV companies, involve all passengers seated in the show lounge with interactive buttons wired into every seat. While they are expensive to mount, they provide something different from the costumed production show extravaganzas that cost the cruise lines millions to produce.
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